spirantization:

you can’t be a bisexual if you’ve never dated a girl. all bisexuals must submit proof of dating history before becoming fully licensed and must be registered to continue practicing bisexuality. please renew your licence every 5 years to avoid reclassification as hetero- or homosexual and to remain eligible for our annual picnic and raffle.

"dude"

me expressing disbelief, anger, sympathy or shock (via lastisle)